Letter to the Editor: The Queen

Queen Reynolds and her Court have pronounced Iowa a place where the born and unborn and the mother and father will be protected, loved and supported. This pronouncement was made with pomp and circumstance, with trumpets blaring and cymbals crashing as the new legislative session begins.

The Republican majority, which I will henceforth call the Freedom and Love Party, is now a self-proclaimed supermajority which appears to be a majority that can do whatever it wants, when it wants, and to whom it wants. Always a rather sinister state of affairs, but what do I know.

By the end of the current legislative session, I expect that we will be living in a full blown theocracy. To know how this is to work, you must go back to times before Henry the Eighth when the king was the head of the Church as well as the State. Quite convenient it was; cut down on a lot of bureaucratic squabbling and turf wars. As you know Henry got crosswise with the pope and lost his title. Very unfortunate.

But, thankfully, the Freedom and Love Party will be bringing it back after all this time — and justifiably so. But, as I said before, we don’t want a lot of squabbling about which religious doctrine to adopt, we need to find a sensible and peaceful method of determining which particular religious doctrine best serves the people of the State of Iowa and go with it. It probably would be best if Queen Reynolds just pronounced her decision on the matter as something that has been decided and is not subject to debate. You know, a fait accompli. For those not versed in French, “a thing that has already happened or been decided before those affected hear about it, leaving them with no option but to accept it.”

And presumably, the governor’s office and legislature will be flowing with love and freedom for all — it will be a wonder. The coronation was held at the Condition of the State address on the evening of Jan. 10. Iowa was extolled as a “beacon for freedom and opportunity.” It was a magnificent incantation of self-congratulation and mutual admiration by the Queen and her retinue. We can only wait and see what wonders will come.

Richard E. H. Phelps II

Mingo