While other members of the elitist media focus on President Donald J. Trump’s numerous crudities, ruderies and knowledge gaperies, I can see him for his true self.
He is a titan of intellect, a man who wants to make America great again, but can’t.
He is chained, handcuffed, bound, made ineffective.
Is it a Democratic House that has chained him so? No. The House is Republican. Is it a Democratic Senate that has tied his mighty sword-swinging arms behind his back? No. The Senate is Republican, too.
Is it President Obama? No. Obama is out of office, Is it Hillary Clinton? No. Clinton lost.
So, what is it that holds this knight in bondage?
Republicans said that if we’d just give them the House, the Senate and the presidency, stuff would get done faster than an enslaved Chinese worker could sew a tie. An enslaved Chinese worker, by the way, sews a tie every 30 seconds. If she doesn’t, the boss hits her.
And that’s the problem.
Trump is bound, not by legislative bodies, but by parties; not by evil witch-women in pantsuits, but by the Constitution, the courts and the laws. That’s what keeps America from being great. If Trump could apply the force of his personality to our problems the way that Chinese boss applies his fist to the tie-sewer’s tender little face, America would be rollicking toward a great greatness greater than any greatness before.
Trump said he’d end political correctness, but he can’t just sign one piece of paper and make it OK to call ‘em “coons” again. No! He’s gotta deal with all kinds of laws and rights and votes.
He tried to make everybody named “Muhammad” go home, but as soon as he tried to do the right thing, some musty old judge starting waving a copy of that foolish old Constitution. He tried like hell to fix health care, but his idea had to be discussed and criticized and voted on until it died of shame.
The press does stories on his son’s seven minutes in heaven with the Russians, and all Trump can do is tweet. He said he’d put Clinton in jail, but he can’t because, once again, there’s some old liberal judge with a copy of some old, ragged piece of paper.
But what if he could just incarcerate Clinton, close all the newspapers and have all the Muslims rounded up and shipped somewhere? What if he could order everyone to say “Merry Christmas” this year and not “Happy holidays”? What if he could lock you up for refusing to say “Merry Christmas”?
That would get stuff done, and fast.
It’s just a matter of time until some drooling theologian of the right suggests that Trump needs MORE power, that he can’t reverse America’s decline without “extraordinary powers” and perhaps a “temporary” suspension of the Constitution.
“Of course, Pres. Trump hasn’t reversed the eight years of the suffering we endured under that Muslim Communist fiend Obama,” the Republican party will tell us. “He can’t do that in one term, or even two, and he can’t do it with laws and courts and rights.
“He needs extraordinary powers, just for a little while,” they’ll tell us. “How do you expect him to get anything done with Democrats, and the press and traitors all biting at his heels?
“Just give us your rights for a little while,” they’ll say. “We’ll give ‘em right back. We promise.”
And we will, in a close national vote.
There will be riots, but they’ll stop after the National Guard fires the second or third volley, and the dying squirm in the street. After that, things will get done very fast.
To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com. Dion's latest book, "The Land of Trumpin," is a collection of his columns from the most recent election. It's available in paperback from Amazon.com, and is also available for Kindle, Nook, iBooks and GooglePlay.