Cleere’s faith, tested by terrorist attack, strengthens as she tells husband’s story

For Newton resident Jean Cleere, Sept. 11, 2001, was a day that tested her Christian faith to the limits and ultimately brought her even closer to God.

Jean’s husband, Jim, was in New York City on that day in his capacity as vice-president of telecommunications for Seabury and Smith — a division of Marsh and McClennan. He was staying on the 15th floor at the Marriott World Trade Center that fateful morning when an airplane hijacked by terrorists crashed into the north tower. The hotel was adjacent to both the towers.

Jim called his wife with the news of the crash and, on an answering machine, left a message that he was okay and would be leaving soon. He said that it appeared that the plane had crashed near the floor where he was to be meeting with representatives of Marsh and McClennan.

“At that point I was still calm,” Jean remembered. “No one had heard about the plane crash.”

Jean then called Jim’s Des Moines office and they said they were in contact with him, too. Shortly thereafter, Jim called Jean again and told her he was waiting for a safe way out of the hotel. She then went home and watched the towers fall on television with her daughter, Rhonda.

“It was an odd feeling,” Jean said. “In our minds, he had gotten away.”

The family kept waiting for word from Jim, but no one heard from him as the days went by. Jean said they even joked about where he might be as a way of coping. Knowing there was a coffee shop in the basement of the hotel, they surmised that Jim was there eating doughnuts and waiting for a rescue.

The following Saturday, Jean went to the Des Moines airport to pick up Jim’s van, and she had the first of what she calls a “God moment.” She found Jim’s wedding ring in the van’s cup holder.

“Everybody in Des Moines were trying to contact Jim, and I decided at that point that he wasn’t coming home.”

The family made plans for a memorial service for Jim, and on Oct. 14, a celebration of life was held in Newton.

Mary Dooley and the Iowa Rivers Chapter of American Red Cross helped Jean and daughter Rhonda make a trip to New York in January 2002, and they were met by Red Cross worker Jennifer Barnett.

In the years since, Jean Cleere has worked diligently to understand how her husband died, and through newspaper articles and books about the terrorist attack, she has pieced together much of Jim’s final moments.

In a Newsweek article about Kevin Burns, a survivor of 9/11, Cleere noticed a passage referencing “a big man with an injured leg.” She surmised that the reference was about Jim, since he had been recovering from an Achilles tendon strain, and she could picture him falling on the stairs on the way out of the hotel. Another book of survivors’ stories told about two firefighters, Chief Stack and firefighter Downey, who had perished in the Marriott along with four others.

The group had survived the fall of the south tower, and had been making their way to another exit when they were buried by the falling north tower. Kevin Burns was spared when he left to get help for Jim and the firefighters, both of whom would not leave the injured Jim Cleere.

“I don’t know why God gave me this knowledge, but I believe I’m supposed to tell my story,” Jean said.

Jean said her faith has been strengthened through telling and retelling Jim’s story, and there was only one time that her faith wavered.

On the first anniversary of the terrorist attack, Jean said she found the son of firefighter Downey, who had tried to save her husband’s life. Then in the afternoon, she was in the pit of ground zero and was on her way out because President Bush was due to arrive soon.

“I just collapsed, and I was crying. I had lost my faith, and I was asking why this had to happen to me,” Cleere remembers.

No one was coming to her aid, as all the firefighters were in ranks waiting for the president.

“Then I felt a hand take my elbow, and a voice said, ‘Jesus is with you,’ and I saw this little African-American lady. She helped me up. Later, she just disappeared. I believe God had sent me an angel to remind me of my faith. I never did find her.”

At first, Jean said she felt the attack was from the Muslim nation, and she wanted Osama bin Laden to pay. As America prepared to go to war with Afghanistan, she was in favor of the decision, but in the 10 years since the attack, she said her political views have changed. Instead of working to bring bin Laden to justice, America went war with Iraq, and it seemed to Jean that the nation lost sight of the real goal.

Then, on the first of May, Jean’s birthday, the announcement came that Osama bin Laden had been killed — another “God moment,” she thought.

“I thought, what a birthday present,” she said. “But faith-wise, it was difficult. I was rejoicing, and then I thought, we’re all God’s children.”

Jean said she has forgiven Osama bin Laden for masterminding the Sept. 11 attacks.

“I want them (terrorists) to face justice, but in the end times, God is the judge. I trust my God,” she said.

Jean said it seems weird that it has been 10 years since the attacks, but she has grown in her faith in the interval, and each year, it gets easier and easier to cope.

Initially, she had been making plans to attend the 10th anniversary memorial in New York City, but as the time grew near, she got more and more anxious. The other anniversaries had been very trying, so she decided to cancel. Instead, Jean Cleere will be talking about her experiences on Sunday, first at the St. Luke’s Methodist Church at the 8 and 10:30 a.m. services, and then at the Newton Fire Station at 2 p.m.

“The service at the fire station won’t just be about Jim,” she said. “It’s about all the other families affected by 9/11.”

John Jennings can be contacted at 792-3121 ext. 425 or via e-mail at jjennings@newtondailynews.com.