Back when he was still America’s favorite uncle, Bill Cosby used to host a show called “Kids Say the Darndest Things.” Based on the cliché, “out of the mouths of babes” the show, like most of Cosby’s luster, is gone now, but still worth talking about. Because kids do say the darndest things, and if you’re listening carefully, they’ll teach you the darndest things too.
Hillary Clinton famously quoted “it takes a village to raise a child,” but in my experience, a four year old can teach you to think about life differently. This is what I’ve learned from my buddy.
My buddy William is four years old, going on five. He’s got a big smile and a big heart. Like most little boys he loves cars, balls and watching movies with his brother. However, William has developmental delays, meaning he has a harder time than most of his peers.
At daycare, the staff provides an extra person to give him the one on one time he needs. At home, life can be a struggle for him. He uses echolalia to communicate, which is common in younger children. Children who are 2-3 years old often repeat everything they hear, word for word as they’re learning to speak, but it typically tapers off as they get older.
William will repeat his favorite movies line for line, and often if you ask him a question, he’ll just repeat it back to you. His limits make it hard for him to connect with his peers, and at school, he’s often alone while his classmates complete activities.
Like William, I struggled to learn how to read. A mix of dyslexia and disinterest created a perfect storm. As a kid, I’d beg my mother to let me stay home from school, and I quickly became an expert in faking various illnesses, always striving to hit the mark between “too sick to go to school, but not sick enough to require a visit to the doctor.”
After experiencing a severe hearing loss in elementary school, I spent most of my time living in a world of my creation. In fact, I was in college before I was able to make it all the way through the alphabet song. Watching my buddy’s mother drag him through the door of the classroom, while he’s screaming “No, I don’t want school” I knew exactly how he felt.
William just wants to be himself, and that manifests in odd ways at times.
Before I met William, I used to be that guy who complained about people bringing their kids to public places, I used to be a tireless advocate for a “child-free” airline, and I used to automatically assume when someone’s kid lost it at the grocery store, it was a clear sign of poor parenting.
Mea Culpa, I was wrong about all of that.
Spending time with William, I realized you’ve got to learn to go with the flow, and sometimes, going with the flow means you’re taking off your shoes, socks and pants in the freezer section at Hy-Vee. Sometimes it means the littlest things are critically important, like being able to hold your favorite toy.
It took a four year old to teach me not to worry about what strangers might think. William is doing the best he can, even on his worst days, and even though it might take every ounce of his mother’s patience, he’s trying as hard as he can.
I know he’s trying, because when I look at him, I can see myself and my childhood struggles.
Don’t be afraid to be yourself, even if it means walking barefoot through the grocery store.
Contact David Dolmage at
ddolmage@newtondailynews.com