As we crank up the swastikas for the Second American Reich, we are told that all cops, firefighters and members of the military are heroes. If it wears a uniform, it “puts its life on the line every day,” and to speak against it is treasonous.
But what about the greatest heroes of them all?
What about those elected officials who oppose every gun control measure? What about those governors and representatives and senators and congresspersons who take the NRA’s money and work hard to make sure that you can wear an unconcealed, holstered pistol to your daughter’s fifth-grade production of “The Nutcracker”?
They load up the country with everything from target pistols to fully automatic weapons, and they know, yes, they know, that they may be gunned down by any maniac with a head full of fire and a gun.
Want to take a 3,000-mile drive with your favorite concealable weapon in your pocket, and six rifles in the trunk? Want to take along 5,000 rounds of ammunition? They’re your boys (and girls).
They’ve pimped out every cranny of their political lives to the gun lobby, and they’re not taking a step back.
They don’t expect to get shot because they know damn well that most of the people who get shot in their district or state are poor or nonwhite or both.
And they know the words.
“Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.” Or is it: “People kill don’t guns. Kill people people”?
Either way, it’s one hell of an argument.
School shootings? If the guy didn’t have a gun, he’d kill 20 kids with a hammer.
Gang shootings? Uh, look at the skin color of the guy going into the ambulance. What was he gonna do if he lived, become a dentist? Who cares?
And you can count on these elected officials to stay bought, too, mostly because the NRA keeps paying. You don’t just sell out ONCE to the NRA, you sell out every election, every year, every vote. Whaddaya think, you only sell out once, and then you have enough money to get elected forever? Even the strippers know you gotta get out on the pole more than once in a lifetime.
And then, after years of doing everything you could do stymie every single piece of gun legislation anyone proposes, you’re out on the old diamond, limbering up for the big bought-and-paid for World Series, and some maniac blows a hole in you the size of third base.
Tragedy?
Hell, no!
Pure American bravery. Willingness to die for what you’re paid to believe, willingness to die for every stinking little vote you wrung out of every heavily armed patriot with a flag on his front porch and a head full of dirt.
People wanted more and more guns, and you wanted money and votes. You got ‘em the guns, and they gave you the votes. The NRA gave you the money and they also gave you that coveted “A+” legislative rating, which means the NRA never has to remind you that they own you.
All hail the paid for patriot. God bless the NRA patsy who threw his own people into the flames just to win the election. He was hit by friendly fire.
To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit creators.com Dion’s latest book, “The Land of Trumpin” is a collection of his best columns chronicling the rise of Donald Trump. The book is available in paperback on Amazon, and is also available for Nook, Kindle, iBooks and GooglePlay.