Waaaah! The gays stole my America

As gay people continue to force their thick, muscular agenda down my unwilling throat, I gag on the America we’re losing so fast.

Fortunately, some people are fighting back.

I’m writing this on Heterosexual Pride Day, an internet piece of idiocy I wasn’t sure how to celebrate. I didn’t even have the day off.

When I did get off work, I drove over to my mother’s house and spent a couple of hours with her. She’s in her 80s and I’m an only child, so I do this every day. Then I went home to my wife. She’s a girl. Gay marriage is permitted, but it is not compulsory.

I was unsatisfied.

See, the gay people get everything these days. They’re taking away my America.

Used to be only heterosexual couples could get married, but gay people took that away from us. Used to be, only girl and boy couples could go to prom, but gay people are taking that away, too.

Once upon a time, there were no gay characters on television shows. But the gays took that, too. You can’t call ‘em anything you want, either, not anymore. They took the very words out of our mouths and replaced them with their surprisingly long homosexual agenda.

But they really hurt us in the parades. They have whole gay parades now — two, three miles of gays forcing their gay agenda down your tender main street. You hold a Veteran’s Day Parade, and the gay Marine Corps Vets force themselves right into the middle of the thing. You have a St. Patrick’s Day Parade, and the gay Irish people want to march with you. They serve in the Army, they run for office, they get married. Anything that is forbidden to them, they want.

Radical Muslims hate us for being Americans and Christians, but they hate gays for being American, Christian and gay. Right there, the gay people get one more hate than we do.

We didn’t have a Heterosexual Pride Day Parade in my city this year, so I couldn’t go. Unfortunately, I’m still gargling with the homosexual agenda.

I like the idea, though. Gays have Gay Pride Day, so we have to have Heterosexual Pride Day. We won’t take back America until we have everything they have.

So, last Wednesday night, I hired three guys off the street to call me a “hetero” and beat the hell out of me, because that’s another thing gays get more of than I do.

It hurt, but having my jaw wired shut means I can’t open my mouth wide enough to get the homosexual agenda shoved down my throat.