Before my mom became a nurse, she worked at Principal Financial and would often drop me off at my aunt Marci’s in Des Moines.
I loved going to Marci’s. She was my best friend as a youngster and many in my family recall I was “Marci’s girl.” I was incredibly lucky to have such an established, smart and loving aunt help raise me. I can’t think of a place I enjoyed visiting more, besides my grandparents’ of course.
Since my dad had recently passed away, I’m sure my mom loved and appreciated Marci, too. Marci was my dad’s sister, and it wasn’t until I was older I realized how much I appreciated my connection with her, his other two siblings and my grandparents in his absence. Like my mom, she shared his stories with me often, which helped keep him alive in memory.
Marci instilled in me a love of cooking, the value of getting your work done, and best of all, she let me stay up late on occasion to watch movies. She took me to baseball games, new restaurants and shopping. She was also a natural at balancing discipline and fun, a hard art to master.
Marci had a roommate, Terri, and a couple dogs and cats who she spoiled with toys and canned cat food. Their back yard was large, shaded and had beautiful landscaping. The side of their house was decorated with plants and those small shiny plastic windmills which gives a manicured lawn a bit of character.
One day, when I was older — probably 10 or 11 years old — my cousins kindly informed me that aunt Marci was gay. She was a lesbian, and Terri wasn’t just her roommate; she was her partner.
I had no idea. I didn’t know what that meant, and I was completely naive to anything different. But I suppose it made sense. They lived together for as long as I can remember. They enjoyed each other’s company. They kept in contact with each other throughout the day like married people do. It all added up.
But learning the news that my aunt was a lesbian did not change my adoration and respect for her or Terri. Their relationship was as ordinary and routine as any other committed married couple I knew.
I wasn’t aware my aunt was different because I didn’t know any differently. Thank God for my beautifully, loving and accepting grandparents who led by example. Nobody I knew had any reason to treat her differently. Why would anyone in the world?
In light of the recent Supreme Court ruling, my heart is glad that caring and kindhearted aunts, and uncles, across the country can feel a legal sense of equality and justification as human beings, as hard working, taxpaying Americans, with the rights that other committed couples receive.
I’m grateful that Marci, Terri and my other family members have helped make me who I am today and for sheltering my adolescence with understanding, tolerance and compassion. I love you Marci. Thank you for being my favorite and for being the best aunt a girl could have been blessed to have in life.
Contact Kate Malott at 641-792-3121 ext. 6533 or kmalott@newtondailynews.com