All the talk about “deflategate” over the past couple of weeks has left me feeling deflated.
While I don’t have any fourth-grade-caliber jokes to make about either inflation or deflation, I did have a small realization. Men rarely use the term “deflated” to describe how they feel — it’s a term relegated to classic literature or an exaggerated premise.
It reminded me there are a whole lot of other terms men don’t use — perhaps because there are words and phrases that simply don’t sound manly enough to say out loud in a serious context.
There is no real scientific basis for the items chosen for this column. On the other hand, it would be difficult for anyone to make a masculine case for the terms listed below.
Let’s start with deflation. No man likes to think any individual has gotten the better of him, and taken away all his enthusiasm for something.
It’s one thing to take the fun out of an event, to embarrass or somehow defeat a man, or to make a decision that makes a man angry or sad. But to be deflated by another human being? Well, that simply isn’t something most men would admit to, let alone say it aloud.
Men usually learn to squirm, blame, holler, stare down, throw things or even pout before they’ll admit someone deflated them. Even the man who keeps a poker face, showing no reaction, is still finding a way around being deflated.
Coaches in athletics readily use the phrase “took the wind out of our sails” to describe losing momentum, but not many men would describe a one-on-one interaction that way. Adapt or overcome — that doesn’t mean a man needs to be aggressive; it simply means he holds his ground, and adjusts to his surroundings.
Speaking of wind and sails, you don’t really hear men say another guy has “burst his bubble” or “hurt his feelings.” I suppose grown-ups need to have “thick skin” — a term I hear quite often. Another term that doesn’t sound manly is anything with the “uber” prefix. “Mega-” is a much more masculine describer.
Some terms might have made a man sound like he had a grand vocabulary in the past, but much of a language becomes dated, at some point. It might have made sense to go along “willy-nilly” years ago, but there are more astute ways of describing such meandering these days.
It’s really tough to say “bye-bye” and sound stoic at the same time. “Veggies” might be acceptable if speaking to small children. Generally, however, it seems all the hard work of Iowa farmers should produce things that don’t have a cute little “-ies” on the end.
Some terms are unmanly not because they are feminine, but because of the quantity of men who have overused the phrases before. “As if;” “at the end of the day;” “it is what it is;” “Ciao, baby” (unless you’re in Italy); “Yell-o (as a phone or office greeting) and “anyhoo” are all done. Those are highly overused.
It’s also not manly to be dishonest, so starting sentences with “to be honest,” “to tell you the truth” and “I’m not gonna lie” imply this is a groundbreaking moment of credibility for you.
It’s also not manly to spell words or names wrong, or to use made-up words, such as “irregardless,” “expresso coffee,” “would of” (as opposed to “would have”) “commentate,” “orientate,” “firstly,” “supposably,” and “heighth.”
Speaking of spelling names correctly, this is one issue I have struggled with since joining the Daily News staff. It’s not a gender issue, but a critical one, and an area in which I strive for continuous improvement.
It’s tough to learn thousands of names in a new town — but the “manly” approach is to keep chipping away, and not minimize the problem, or worse — to just sit there, feeling deflated.
Contact Jason W. Brooks at
641-792-3121 ext. 6532 or
jbrooks@newtondailynews.com