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Live Like You Were Dying

Published: Thursday, Feb. 27, 2014 11:21 a.m. CDT

Wednesday, I had a chance to teach at Newton Christian School. In my lesson, I left one question unanswered, “How do you live like you’re dying?”

I took the question and thought about it throughout the day and I realized it was the perfect thing to write about because I have been challenged with my health throughout the week. I thought about how sometimes I have sacrificed having a balance in my life and how I had reached a point past burnout to a point of crashing into a wall and being able to walk away from the crash on mere instinct.

I never saw my doctor look at me with a serious fear for my health. I had to admit I was scared, but the road to a comeback has been painful. I realized if something was to have gone wrong how much regret I would have.

I thought about my friend Nick Sparks’ blog called “Sparks of Attraction” with an entry titled “The Four Aspects of a Complete Man.” Sparks found men have four aspects that complete them. They are: Physical health, Social health, Spiritual health and Professional health.

If any of these were to slack in a person’s life, it would create an unbalanced structure, causing a person to possibly lose control.

I thought about the stress I been holding back while not focusing on the one thing I taught on Wednesday to relax and have fun. If you have been following my column for a while you know I love to use movie quotes. “If you take life too seriously you will never make it out alive.”

I took some time to think about everything I taught yesterday and I realized the idea of “Hometown Kid” had run its course. Don’t get me wrong, I wore red and black in my day with pride and I still do because it’s in the memory of those who came before me.

I think of Newton now as more of a new town than as the place I grew up. It’s great we’re changing to advance further, but I have found that I created an image that isn’t mine.

I am not the face of this community rather I am what I need to be. I can either die a hero or live just long enough to see myself become the villain.

I thought about how scared I was this week. In a conversation with senior staff writer Ty Rushing, I realized I had conveyed I was afraid. I remember the text message I got back from him saying, “I haven’t been to a regular church service in more than a year, but I’m going this week. We are going to need some prayer power.”

I had a set of tears fall from my eyes because I realized this is a part of him I had never seen. I realized he has became more than my friend, but rather he has became like a brother.

It goes without saying he is the heart and soul of this staff. I remember when I got my first hate message for something I did. He wanted to celebrate and I wanted to blow a gasket.

I had a conversation with my pastor, Rev. Jessica Peterson about officially joining the church. I have never held official membership in a church throughout my adult life. I realized coming to a point to say I want to join in the fun. She told me that she was going to talk with me about it and to remember it is like a marriage. I stood there filtering out every joke about marriage and relationships. I realized it was simply because I had those jokes going through my head that I had finally found a home.

I can only hope the students I had the chance to teach at Newton Christian School are reading this today because this last part is for you guys.

I just want to say thank you for teaching me about living life again. It was through your questions you challenged me to meet you. It was through this I found something new in my voice. I just want to say I love you all and God bless.

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