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Happy Green Beer Day!

Published: Wednesday, March 20, 2013 12:32 p.m. CDT

For those poor unfortunate souls (read: sober) who are unfamiliar with the beloved inebriated holiday, Green Beer Day occurs at my college alma mater, Miami University, on the Thursday before kids take off for spring break.

I know this will upset some folks. They will throw up their arms and speak to the dangers of binge drinking and alcoholism. And I agree with you. I do. But Green Beer Day isn’t loved because of the alcohol consumption. That can happen any weekend. It’s loved because it’s an experience — one of those special little events that apply to your life for only a glint in time.

Of course, there are some who try to keep Green Beer Day on life support. We saw those sorry sacks every year. Without fail, the bars on Green Beer Day would have a few old Miami alums who had congregated on campus with their college buds for a walk down green beer memory (loss?) lane. My friends and I lamented about how lame they were to show up at their old stomping grounds to drink.

I said I never wanted to become those pathetic people. I was wrong. I want desperately to be that pathetic — balding head, bulging belly, green tongue and all!

College, for me, was so quick and perfect that nearly a decade out, it’s hard to even know whether that time was real. I haven’t made new friends like the ones I had in college — the kind you would lie down in traffic for. I haven’t had drama or high stakes or scares or loves like the ones I had then. Everything was over-the-top. Everything was do-or-die.

I am not the person I was in college. I wouldn’t want to be. But there are days when I miss the heck out of her. Green Beer Day represents all the crazy things I did back then and cannot do again. Correction: shouldn’t do again. Sure, I’m always up till sunrise, but now the reason is far less rock-’n’-roll and far more boob-’n’-stool. And the only men I call in the middle of the night to plead for them to come over are the pizza delivery dudes.

Life has changed.

I’m not complaining. I’m obsessed with my child. I’m in love with my husband. And I have a job I adore. But every once in a while, it’d be nice to wake up with a green tongue.

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