My mother only bothers calling me on Saturday mornings unless there has been a massive upheaval in her world, and even then she’s lucky to catch me awake to answer the phone.

When she called me this past Saturday morning she startled me from my slumber. I rushed to call her back believing some traumatic Sanders family event had befallen upon us all, but alas no such tragic episode transpired. My father was fine. My parents’ house wasn’t on fire. Her cable television was working properly.

What was the problem then?