Change is never easy

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again ... I like routine. I like a plan. I like to know what each day has in store for me, this week, next week, next month. Change can often be difficult for me. I guess if I were to try to analyze myself, it sort of sounds like I’m a control freak but I don’t think that’s how it is at all.

Case in point, very recently, hubby up and decided he was retiring. Two weeks later he did and my little world momentarily slipped off its axis. I did not have this on my schedule.

Oh, he’d talked about it for several years, and I’d always sort of “poo-pooed” it away. After all, I’m sure most of us working stiffs fantasize about retirement as we tally up the years at our job. But one evening last month he made the decision, penned his letter of resignation on his work email and hit the send button — all within about 10 minutes.

Me? I threw up in my mouth a little.

I think I successfully appeared the supportive partner and smiled on the outside, but my insides were in full-on panic mode. I’ve become accustomed to a certain lifestyle, i.e. food, clothing, electricity, insurance, etc.

I just hadn’t had time to truly process the idea and all I saw when I looked at my hubs was complete euphoria. Dang, how could I possibly not be as excited? I mean, I was happy for him, I really was. But like I mentioned, change is difficult for me and this one was a doozy.

It’s all good though. Along with my reluctance for change, comes my ability to do just that ... albeit with baby steps.

Departure from his previous job has certainly brought with it an ample amount of paperwork. We’re now trying to navigate our way through new benefit packages, insurance policies and the like. Since we assume his risk of being shot at has decreased significantly since leaving the law enforcement profession after 27 years, the additional life insurance policy was temporarily set on the back burner as we waded through the materials most pressing.

So anyway...

He’s enjoyed his first week of retirement.

Let’s see ... Avery treated him to a trip to St. Louis and all-inclusive tickets to a Cardinals game. He changed oil in his truck. He brushed the dogs. He had a chat with the mail carrier. He cleaned the camper. He built a bird house. At this pace, his stress level should be negative 11.

I went home from work yesterday and the two of us were able to enjoy some time out on the deck. I was telling him about my day when he received a text on his phone. Next thing I know, we’re off to look at a motorcycle he decided he was interested in.

It wasn’t a surprise he wanted one. He’s had motorcycles since I’ve known him until just a few years ago. In fact, I believe that is where I met him ... at the Kawasaki dealership my parents owned.

A few hours later, I was following him on his “new” ride as we headed home.

Maybe it’s my age, maybe it’s hubby’s age, but my excitement about this latest acquisition was not at all what I had expected. The first words out of my mouth as we were walking into the house were, “we’re mailing that life insurance off tomorrow!”

Contact Dana King at dking@shawmedia.com