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Hot dang

Published: Monday, March 20, 2017 9:57 a.m. CDT • Updated: Monday, March 20, 2017 9:59 a.m. CDT

Hot Tamales have always kind of been my special treat. While some have a thing for chocolate, this hot cinnamon chewy goodness and I have a longstanding history. Dating back to my high school years, we picked up a steadier pace when I worked evening desk shifts as a young reporter.

When you’re a Hot Tamales junkie you discover things such as a five-pound bag you can sometimes find locally or otherwise buy online, that one box can disappear in a matter of minutes or that the sugary snack can substitute as a meal when you can’t break away from work.

This weekend, we sadly may have suffered a permanent breakup.

As soon as I saw Disney was releasing a remake of the tale as old as time, “Beauty and the Beast” I knew I wanted to see it. I was about 12 years old when the original animated film was released, and I watched it repeatedly that year. As it turns out, our middle child is now the same age as I was when “the old one” — as she called it — was in theaters. But she wanted to see this new flick, so I made arrangements to catch it in 3D XD and somehow managed to talk my husband into attending as well.

My first mistake was waiting until mid-week to reserve our seats for a Saturday matinée on opening weekend. Finding three seats together was no small feat. While not the most desirable, I managed to secure a trio in the third row.

Prior to the show, we made our way through the concessions area where my favorite treat is available in bulk. I grabbed a sack and filled a pretty good-sized bag of Hot Tamales and balanced it out with a smartwater. This is how I justify things.

As we settled into our seats and put on our fashionable 3D glasses, I started chowing down on my cinnamony goodness. I hadn’t eaten lunch, so my snacking was definitely in high gear.

As the movie began I quickly realized it was going to be very musical. While I remembered several songs from the original, it sort of slipped my mind that this remake would be alive with song. As my husband sat next to me audibly sighing, his mouth agape, I knew he was not happy. This is exactly the reason I attended “La La Land” by myself. I can get down with a musical while he can’t. While he was willing to suffer through with us, I definitely foresee some kind of shoot ‘em up type of movie in my near future to even the playing field.

The technology of 3D movies is amazing to me. This particular film does a great job in utilizing it. However about half way in I realized the proximity to the 3D motion and stomach full of Hot Tamales wasn’t working for me. While I was really enjoying the film, I was suffering from some serious motion sickness.

After a couple of trips out of the movie it was clear my relationship with Hot Tamales had taken a serious hit. The thought of enjoying them again feels quite distant — even impossible.

If there’s a moral to this story it’s that “Beauty and the Beast” is a great movie and you should definitely see it. But if you’re going for 3D and reserved seating, plan ahead — and maybe skip the Hot Tamales.

Contact Abigail Pelzer at apelzer@newtondailynews.com 

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