Super Bowl drenching

Whata Super Bowl. Sports history was made before our eyes. I had picked the Atlanta Falcons to win, and relished their first half shellacking of the New England Patriots. However, feeling sorta sorry for Tom Brady, and never being one to kick a man when he’s down, I switched allegiance in the second half and began rooting for the Patriots. Momentum swings are almost predictable and carry tons of life meaning.

Ginnie got upset with me. She used to be a Tom Brady fan but changed her mind when she saw him, on national television, blow his nose on his hand. “Eww,” she said. “He has that little towel on his belt, why can’t he use it?”

What can I say? At least Ginnie wasn’t picking a team based on the color of their uniforms, which she’s done in the past, then gloated over winning.

The Super Bowl, for us, started the day before when Iowa State’s basketball team beat number three Kansas in Lawrence. Iowa State came from a 15-point first-half deficit to pull off a stunning overtime upset. And to think, Ginnie and I had almost gone shopping rather than stay home and watch the game.

Then, on Saturday night, Iowa’s own Kurt Warner was inducted into the NFL’s Hall of Fame. It couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. Born in Burlington, Warner grew up in Cedar Rapids and didn’t even start for UNI until his fifth year. While stocking shelves for Hy-Vee, Warner had a bumpy career that included Arena Football for the Iowa Barnstormers, and then a stint playing football in Europe. But he never gave up on his NFL dream. For the St. Louis Rams, he was Trent Green’s backup, until Trent Green went down with a knee injury. Reading Warner’s book, two things stand out for me: his faith in God and his statement, “I always knew I could do it.”

During the week preceding Super Bowl Sunday, our pastor, Trey Hegar, had let it be known we could douse him with the traditional Gatorade if he made a point that was more powerful than winning the Super Bowl. In fact, he dared us. Well, the challenge was on. Never one to back down from a dare, Ginnie and I made phone calls and exchanged Facebook messages with other parishioners. We couldn’t let Trey get away with this. Ginnie and I spent Saturday night shredding newspapers and acquiring an orange Gatorade-like cooler from Hy-Vee.

On Sunday morning, before church, we stashed the Gatorade cooler in an inconspicuous location. During his sermon, Trey made a weak joke that the Patriots should change their team name to a member of the cat family, “The Cheetahs.” An amalgamation of boos and cheers followed.

But Trey did score a point greater than a Super Bowl win when he referenced Isaiah 40:3-5 that Jesus will, “make straight in the desert a highway for our God. Every valley shall be lifted up, and every mountain and hill be made low.”

That did it. Ginnie and I grabbed the Gatorade cooler, and Lois Roth took up her bucket of confetti. Seeing us approach, Trey thought the tubs were filled with Gatorade. He tried to run but we had him trapped like a rat in the crossfire.

Ker-splash! We doused him real good.

Only winners get the Gatorade bath.

Contact Curt Swarm in Mt. Pleasant
at 319-217-0526 or curtswarm@yahoo.com