Editor’s note: This column was originally published June 23, 2016
One part water, one part hot sauce and one part house cleaner. This is the home cure-all for a “Threat-Level Midnight” wasp invasion — at least according to the wisdom of Naturallivingideas.com’s “6 natural ways to get rid of wasps.”
It does work, but I hope no one has to use this method except as a last resort. It’s been a bit of a dream for Betsy and me to have a lush apartment balcony garden, creating a living oasis on our fourth-floor patio as a summertime retreat.
We’ve made progress. We have a clematis crawling up the railing, a hanging basket full of annuals, a black metal stand filling up with lemon balm, Italian parsley and other herbs, a thriving palm tree and a cactus. We also have the decor — a small patio set, rainbow colored outdoor rug, a wind chime and a little birdhouse.
Betsy is the crafty type. She painted the small, pine wood birdhouse in multi-colored pastel in an attempt to find feng shui with our beach oasis theme. But birds, we unfortunately found, do not always like to live four stories up.
While reading our books and drinking iced tea on a Thursday evening, Betsy and I witnessed a single, curious wasp land on the birdhouse door and walk right in. Now, the house might have been vacant but you don’t just waltz right in to a home without an invitation. I don’t care if you have a stinger, it’s bad form.
Our yellow and black-winged friend flew away, and we looked at each other without words. Our gut feeling said he’d be back for a house party with all of his friends. Betsy, being the eternal outdoor optimist, thought it was premature to move the birdhouse inside with the hope a little bird would come to nest before the wasp crasher returned.
Two days later, about 20 wasps were flying in and out of their newly claimed colony. It was much more flashy than the hole in which they had been living, inside the balcony canopy of the apartment next door.
So we went to our trusty friend Google to find a good way to evict the hoard. We found Natural Living Ideas and tried a few of their tricks. Betsy filled a clear plastic sandwich bag with water, put a penny inside and tied it shut — fastening it to the black rack where the birdhouse sits. This is supposed to look like a threatening spiderweb to wasps ... Failed. She also crumpled a brown paper bag and tied it to the other side of the rack with white twine. This is supposed to impersonate a rival wasp colony’s hive and scare the flying stingers away from enemy turf ... Nothing.
So, finally, with her wartime headband, Betsy filled the spray bottle with the hot sauce, house cleaner mixture and proceeded to the birdhouse hole. A few quick sprays and the wasps fled. They returned a few times and hovered, but never got closer than a foot from the front door. Victory was ours, but the birdhouse now smells like the inside of a burrito. My guess is we won’t be welcoming birds any time soon.
Contact Mike Mendenhall at
mmendnehall@newtondailynews.com