March 28, 2024

Is it Mom clean?

Wow, I think it’s finally sinking in.

College kid was home over the weekend. He’s struggling just a little bit with his three roommates and, it has nothing to do with personality conflicts. Apparently, to hear him tell it, he is sharing an apartment with barely domesticated swine.

I could tell you how I projected an expression of empathy, a look of motherly compassion and understanding while listening to his tales of woe of a dirty kitchen, no clean dishes, empty food containers and overflowing trash.

But my kids don’t have that kind of mother. No, my kids have the kind of mom that says things like, “Now you know how I felt!”

But even as those words left my mouth, he was already throwing up his defense with things like, “I was never THAT bad!” or “My room was usually clean” and the best one of all, “but Mom, we’re family!”

It has always been hard for me, being a bit of a neat freak, to live under the same roof as teenagers with their rotting shoes and their unmade beds, the half full cans of soda scattered around the house and the dwindling supply of cutlery in the silverware drawer, the glasses of milk I’d find in their bedrooms that more resembled containers of curds. And don’t even get me started on wet towels on the floor and clean laundry hanging from everything in their rooms, except a clothes hanger.

Don’t tell ME you weren’t that bad.

I tried unsuccessfully to stand my ground several times over the years by refusing to pick up around the house behind those teenagers. My record was four days. I don’t even know if any of them noticed.

And as far as their bedrooms went, I would try the classic “if this room isn’t clean, you’re not leaving the house.” We have a saying in our house … “Is it ‘Mom’ clean?” I’m not sure why I even wasted my breathe. I admit, I broke before they did.

It took my third go-round with a teenager before I finally decided … ehhh, I’ll just shut the door. At least I don’t have to see it.

But the very day we returned home from moving that final kid to college for his freshman year — Aug. 20, 2014 — I was in that bedroom ‘doing my thing.’ I envision passers-by seeing dust exiting the windows in that room, similar to smoke rolling from an enflamed house.

In fact, I made a little video of the before and after bedroom and posted it to my social media account. There was something cathartic about sharing my struggles and triumphing in the end. I have to take my victories where I can get them.

Contact Dana King at
515-994-2349 or
danajking@shawmedia.com or