Editor’s note: The following events are true, but to maintain the privacy of the individuals discussed, the subject of this column will be refereed to only as “he.”
He walked into a fully-furnished one bedroom apartment after a year of uncertainty, living in a concrete dorm room above the downtown Des Moines Salvation Army. His first social media post after receiving the keys to his new place was an ode to his new grill and the fresh steaks he was about to season and serve to himself after only eating donated food for the last year.
When I last wrote about my friend, he was having withdrawals from a vodka binge. In a Des Moines-area hospital, his blood alcohol content topped 0.4, nearly four times the legal limit. He had been a frequent flyer at the hospital’s selective alcohol and substance abuse in-patient program, and the doctors thought his fifth visit within a year showed the program wasn’t working for his addiction.
He continued his downward spiral until he was kicked out of his mobile home by his girlfriend of nine years. He allegedly hit her in a drunken depression. He pleaded guilty in county court to domestic assault and served jail time. It was Christmas time, and no one — not even his family — would help him post bail prior to trial.
He eventually convinced an old high school friend to pay the cash assured bond, so he could leave the county lockup. He moved into his friend’s one-story ranch with all his belongings in black trash bags. My partner and I knew he wouldn’t be able to rehabilitate himself without a support system. We attended two Alcoholics Anonymous meetings with him in one evening. For New Year’s Eve, we planned an alcohol-free night — taking him to Sober Under the Stars at the Science Center of Des Moines. He arrived drunk.
He eventually was kicked out of his friend’s house, and with nowhere to turn, he checked into the Salvation Army’s rehab program. In exchange for room and board, he worked at the thrift store for nearly a year, maintaining his sobriety.
Sunday afternoons, for the last few months, my partner and I spent time with him at a downtown coffee shop, searching the online job boards in anticipation of his pending treatment graduation. He lost his girlfriend, his home and his two dogs in the span of two months. As he saw his world crumble, he began to realize he had to make the decision to pick himself up. He had the support, but he had to make the final call to better himself.
After graduation, he did land a new job, a new apartment and a new perspective on life. Unemployed for more than two years, he is aware of the tenuous nature of his situation. It would not take much to open up that bottle once again. He will always be an alcoholic.
Twelve months ago, he was nearly homeless. Now, he’s standing once again. All it takes is one, but there is strength in numbers.
Contact Mike Mendenhall at
mmendenhall@newtondailynews.com