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Local Editorials

It’s time to slow down

When Gov. Terry Branstad’s vehicle was cited for speeding, people were up in arms. Up and coming gubernatorial candidate Jack Hatch even used the incident in an attack ad.

I can understand. Citizens, or I should say people, want their leaders to act in accordance with the law. They want their leaders to be ethical, like the everyday citizen.

Why is it wrong to commit sex acts in the Oval Office? Because that’s the standard moral.

I understood Iowans’ outcries at one point. Now, after driving on I-80 over a dozen times since I’ve been here, I would like to tell Jack Hatch and many other Iowans who are still upset about this to put down their partisan pitch forks.

One thing I quickly learned about I-80 is that most people believe the 80 in I-80 is the speed minimum. Just the other day, I was doing a cool 75 mph (just enough to get me where I’m going, but not enough to get popped) and I still didn’t pass a single car.

As a matter of fact, several cars passed me, going at least 85 mph. One of them had to be trying to go back in time, cause he was going at least 88 mph.

Speeding doesn’t upset me. What really upsets me is when I’m doing the cool Fonzi at 75 mph and drivers ride my bumper so close they could instruct their child to climb out of the window, open my trunk and steal my tripod from my car.

The other thing that upsets me is hypocrisy. I’m no saint. I just openly admitted that I speed. I’ve gotten a speeding ticket before. But then again, I’m not a GOP villain in a liberally slanted bond movie (if the tables were turned, I’d be hitting the GOP right back too).

It seems that a very small minority of Iowa drivers, or at least those passing through Iowa, obey the speed limit.

During an interview, I asked Jack Hatch and one of his campaign staff members what the super-secret TV spot was going to be about. There only response was, “You’ve never seen anything like it.”

They were right. I’d never seen an attack ad about something so trivial. I guess this means Hatch just might be another man in a suit ... or, business casual, because he can relate to rural-small-town-community-folksy Iowans.

Honestly, I don’t believe any of that is true. When Hatch visited the Jasper County Democrats, he spoke elegantly and was able to respond to any question anyone asked him. If he didn’t know the answer he admitted it, something most politicians don’t know how to do.

The “Smokey and The Branstad” TV ad wasn’t Hatch though. It was American politics, nothing but mud wrestling and walking tacos for sale.

Mr. Hatch, politics shouldn’t be a speckle or a sparring match. It should be a place where people come together and discuss issues and hammer out compromises and...

Oh, who am I kidding. We’ve got someone called Honey Boo-Boo on television and people are more intersted in what construction tools Miley Cirus is licking than what a debt celing is. (Here’s a hint, It’s not a floor.)

All pop stars aside, I don’t expect American politics to be clean or friendly, but for once I’d like to see less hyprocrisy and mudslinging.

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