I have been married to Christine for three months and the thing I can’t stand about being married the most are people who insistently ask me if I enjoy married life. They ask it in this condescending, self-satisfying tone like they are half expecting me to answer that marriage is terrible.

So naturally the crash course of such conversations eventually leads such people to inquire if there are any annoying habits, quirks or behaviors that Christine exhibits frequently that get under my skin. Um, I lived with her for three years. It wasn’t like Christine waited until the marriage certificate was signed, sealed and delivered before she started using my shaving cream, wearing all my good shirts, clogging the shower drain or constantly complaining that I leave the toilet seat up.

I mean, so what? I leave the toilet seat up. As a man I hardly see how that is a big deal.