DEAR ABBY: There is a man at work I’m very attracted to. He seems to be equally attracted to me. The problem is, he has shown me two pictures of his privates that he has on his cellphone. When he did it, it wasn’t completely out of context of our conversation and our interest in each other. We do not have a physical relationship (yet), but I’m considering it. How weird is it that he has these pictures on his phone? — GOT AN EYEFUL IN ILLINOIS
DEAR GOT AN EYEFUL: That must have been some conversation! It’s amazing either of you get any work done with so many pheromones floating in the air. From my perspective, what your co-worker did was “premature” considering you have no social relationship (yet). It could also be considered a form of flashing.
However, while I consider what he did to be overexposure and not a particularly impressive courtship technique, displaying pictures of his anatomy on his cellphone is not unheard of among men who think like adolescents.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a waitress at a 24-hour restaurant in a small town. Most of my customers are regulars, and for the most part we talk about current events and what is going on in each other’s lives. Last night, two of my regulars came in and one tried to grab my hand after the other put his hand up the sleeve of my shirt. Both repeatedly asked me incredibly personal questions about my love life and finances, and I’ll admit, I froze and then I walked away.
In any other kind of work environment what happened would be considered sexual harassment, but I’m not sure what to do about it, since they’re customers and I’m the employee. At what point is the customer really wrong? — MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?
DEAR MAY: The point at which the customer is really wrong is when he (or she) repeatedly asks personal questions about a server’s love life and puts his (or her) hands on the server. The way to handle it is to report what happened to your supervisor or employer, and make certain that in the future you are not the person taking their order. What happened was inappropriate anywhere — and that includes in your restaurant.
DEAR ABBY: My 18-year-old son left for college over a month ago. While cleaning his room, I found all sorts of marijuana paraphernalia. I’m at a loss about how to handle this. I want to confront him because he knew the rules of the house (no drugs) and lied to me and broke them.
I do not want drugs in this house! I don’t know what to do or say if he wants to come home for school breaks. I pray he is no longer doing them, but I think I would just be lied to if I brought it up. — HEARTBROKEN MOM IN FREDERICKSBURG, VA.
DEAR HEARTBROKEN MOM: You have a right to set the rules in your house and expect that they will be respected. When your son comes home for his first school break, tell him what you found and how hurt you are to have been lied to. Then tell him that to make sure he doesn’t abuse your trust in the future, you will be randomly drug-testing him. (Testing kits are sold over the counter at your pharmacy.) Explain what the penalty will be if he disregards your wishes. The threat of a drug test may ensure his compliance.
A NOTE TO PARENTS OF YOUNG CHILDREN: If your little ones will be trick-or-treating tonight, please be sure they are supervised to assure their safety.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.