DEAR HARRIETTE: As a 21-year-old virgin, I have made the decision to not have sex until marriage. It's easy now because I am not currently in a relationship. My question is, when I do become part of a committed relationship, when do I tell him that I am not having sex until marriage? I'm afraid he'll think that means I'm rushing him toward a ring, but in reality I don't want him to be disappointed later when intercourse is not an option. — No Compromise, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR NO COMPROMISES: Take any relationship slowly. Get to know the person you begin to date and make it clear by your actions that you are not interested in pursuing quick intimacy.

Talk about your values as you go along, including your thoughts about family. This doesn't need to happen on the first, second or third date, but it is good to create a rapport with a potential mate that includes an understanding of what you believe.