DEAR ABBY: I’d like to respond to “Where the Boys Aren’t” (May 26). We’re right here every day, lady, working in the same building, going to the same functions, eating at the same diners and attending the same churches. But we don’t measure up to the standards you have set.

You can find us after work at sports bars with friends having a beer, early morning weekends on the lake or stream fishing, kicking back watching a game on TV or working on a hot rod or motorcycle like the one we had — or wanted — in high school. We are not on a cruise, at the mall, upscale bar or wine tasting. In short, we’re not doing what you like to do. Think about the guy you were married to who had to be dragged or nagged to the outings you enjoy.

You want to find a guy in your age range? That’s easy. Step back, be honest and really look at yourself. How do you act, dress, talk? Would you date you? Do you measure up to the standards you have set for the right guy? If there’s something you would change, then change it. Take the time to see who he is, what he enjoys and remember, he’s not going to change, and if he did, he wouldn’t be what you wanted anyway. — CONTENT, SECURE, SINGLE 58-YEAR-OLD MAN