Boyfriend’s cheating heart leaves an electronic trail
DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend “Paul” for four years. We have a child together, and we each have a child of our own. We have lived together for three years, and our family life is great. However, when I was pregnant with our son, Paul contacted an ex on a social network. One day he left his computer open, and I saw that their conversations were less than innocent. I was upset and I said something immediately.
We have stayed together, but ever since then I’m having a hard time trusting Paul. Because he had also been calling the woman, I now check our phone records. Yesterday I found a text of his to a former boss’s daughter. Paul was telling her how “hot” she is.
Abby, am I overreacting when I think Paul is going to cheat? — ALARMED IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR ALARMED: You’re not overreacting. Paul is cheating on you emotionally, and doesn’t appear to be entirely committed to your relationship. In fact, it appears he is looking for some outside adventures. You should not only be concerned, you should also be furious about what he’s doing. This won’t stop until you draw the line.
DEAR ABBY: My parents divorced during my junior year of high school. I am now a sophomore in college. I have done my best to maintain a good relationship with Dad, although I chose to live with my mother during the custody battle.
Since the divorce, Dad has verbally, emotionally and financially abused me to the point that I no longer want him as part of my life.
I miss having a father figure, even though no amount of counseling could ever mend our broken relationship. We went through two years of counseling, and the only thing I learned was that Dad believes he has done nothing wrong and my feelings about him are because of Mom.
How can I get over the pain and hurt my dad has caused me? — HEARTBROKEN IN MICHIGAN
DEAR HEARTBROKEN: It will probably take one-on-one counseling for you to establish enough emotional independence to toughen up. Your father’s unwillingness (or inability) to take responsibility for his mistakes is an indication that, as much as you may need and want a father, he will never be the parent you would like him to be. It will take time and work on your part to get beyond this loss — and it is a loss — so the ideal place to begin your journey would be by talking to a psychologist at the student health center.
Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.