Care providers show respect by not using patient’s name

DEAR ABBY: “She Has a Name in Georgia” (Dec. 2) complained that the care staff at the assisted living community where her mother lives calls her “Granny,” “Grandma” and “Mamma.” She found it disrespectful, and I agree with her.

I am an R.N. with two advanced nursing degrees. Calling a resident “Granny,” “Dear” or “Honey” is not loving or caring. It is degrading, humiliating and hurtful! It does not matter what the ethnicity of the attendant is; there are standards of conduct and patient’s rights. I suggest “She Has a Name” ask the director of the facility for copies of the standards of care and patient’s rights documents.

The family may want to install a “nanny cam” in the room if it will provide peace of mind. There are many fine communities where care of the residents is provided in a professional and caring manner. I hope they are able to find one for their mother. — RETIRED R.N. AND RESIDENT ADVOCATE

DEAR R.N.: Thank you for sharing your expertise on this subject. I didn’t realize patient’s rights were specified by the documents you mentioned or that how a resident is addressed is covered in them. Other health care professionals responded similarly, and I stand corrected. My newspaper readers comment:

DEAR ABBY: During school and in clinical rotations, we were repeatedly instructed to call clients by their names, especially in situations where memory was impaired. Not only does it help to reorient the patient as to who they are and help them to maintain their identity, but it provides a clear separation as to who is family and who is the caregiver.

The director should not have diminished the importance of the family’s feelings on this matter. I suggest they consider relocating their mother to a facility that is more conscientious about the care they are being paid to provide. — CAREGIVER IN FLORIDA

DEAR ABBY: The assisted living staff should not be calling her mother by those names. The legal term is “elder speak,” or as it is commonly known — baby talk. This infantilizes elders. It is detrimental to their care and contributes to “ageism,” a process in which elders are perceived as less valuable than others.