Potato chips are no longer hip

Man, am I screwed. A major health study recently came out that said potato chips are the biggest culprit for weight gain. Ugh.

Not that long ago, it was soda. I figured I was safe ‘cause I drink diet, but the “experts” said diet could be even worse than sugar pop because of aspartame and all the sodium. You’re not going to win.

Now, the potato chip has taken over the No. 1 spot, and chips are my favorite junk food. I carry them in my car for munchies. At home, I might eat anywhere from one to three of those large Corelle bowls of chips per day.

After all, the bag (and I won’t mention any brand name) bragged in large, colorful, eye catching letters that there are zero grams of trans fat in this all-natural food, with only a dash of salt. What could be more healthful?

After the report came out, I turned the bag over and read the nutritional facts. There are 160 calories per serving. A serving is 15 chips. Yeah, right.

I dug out my large, white Corelle bowl and dumped the chips in like I normally would for my pre-lunch snack, then counted the chips. (Three crumbs equal one chip.) Hmmm, 66 chips. Let’s see: Sixty-six divided by 15 is 4.4 servings per bowl, times 160 calories, is 704 calories, times two, maybe three of those babies per day, and there’s my daily caloric allotment in chips alone. Great.

What about the old-timers who ate potatoes at every meal and were thin as a rail? What about the Irish? The potato was their staple. What about the ancient report from years ago that I clung to like the grail? It stated that the potato in any form was good for you — fries, baked, chips, scalloped, raw. That, unlike most food, a person could survive on potatoes alone.

I’ve always done everything to excess, eating included. My rationale was that I compensate for over-eating by exercise, which I also overdo. I either swim or jog daily. But the truth is, I’m 30 pounds overweight. The report shatters this exercise myth. “What we eat and how much of it we consume has far more impact than exercise ... on long-term weight gain.” Drat.